Say Anything
by MyLittleGlassReflection
Summary: Ellie Nash is secretly in love with a certain blonde bombshell, by the name of Paige Michalchuk. The problem is that Paige is already happily dating Alex, and nobody know's Ellie is gay. But when Ellie lets her feelings slip, things get complicated.FSLASH
1. Unrequited love

_**This is the first chapter of "Say anything". This is a FEMMESLASH fic. Ellie/Paige and Palex (Paige/Alex). If you don't like slash, DONT READ. Thanks and enjoy. x**_

_**Disclaimer : I don't own degrassi or anything to do with degrassi, thanks. **_

The young redhead blinked violently as tears blurred her vision. She couldn't stop thinking about a new couple at Degrassi Community School. It ripped her apart. One half of the popular love duo owned her heart. Recalling those enchanting green eyes made her heart ache, but they continued to flood her thoughts, and consume her daydreams. Nobody knew of her obsession, of her love for the blonde who seemed heartless. She knew otherwise. She spend most of her time uncontrollably staring lovingly at her secret crush, and she saw the way Paige Michalchuk looked at Alex as if she was a goddess. She could tell by the was Paige gazed at her girlfriend with heart filled eyes that she loved her. Ellie Nash couldn't help but wish that just once she could be at the receiving end of one of those looks. Simply walking the halls was a constant battle. Ellie would do all she could to avoid the object of her affection, for she couldn't stand to watch her wander the halls, hand laced with Alex's, occasionally leaning in for a peck on the lips from her arm candy. Her mind replayed the moment Paige and Alex kissed at the entrance of their school. When Ellie had heard about it, she was happy at first. Her head screamed excitedly at her, _PAIGE MICHALCHUK LIKES GIRLS! SHE'S GAY! YOU HAVE A SHOT!_. However with one simple phrase from the unknowing Marco's lips, her world shattered. "Who would have thought that Paige and Alex would fall for each other." At that moment Ellie ran straight home to cry her eyes out. How could she have been so stupid, to think that Paige could've actually ended up with her. Nobody even knew of her not-so-straight sexual orientation. When she heard that Paige had gotten a month and a halfs detention for showing up at school high, Ellie decided to get detention too. An entire Saturday alone with the girl of her dreams, of course Paige hated her, she told her self in the back of her mind. With that thought, she felt yet another cold dagger viciously plunge into her heart.

"Miss Nash?" She turned around to find Mrs.Swan standing behind her.

"Yes, Mrs. Kwan?" Ellie clutched the egg in her hand tightly,but not so tightly that it would break. This was her chance. If anyone would give her detention, Mrs. Kwan would.

"What are you still doing here, class is over, and what are you planning on doing with _that_?" She asked calmly, pointing to her weapon of choice.

Ellie took a deep breathe,wiping the tears that lingered on her cheeks. The after effects of reliving her torture, and wallowing over her unrequieted love.

"This." Ellie wound up her arm and watched the round, white, object soar from her outstretched fingers, and splatter on the blackboard, ruining the lesson plan for Mrs.Kwan's Monday class.

Kwan looked shocked, nobody was in the classroom as the school day had been over for fifteen minutes._ Why on earth would she do that? _That was definately a question worth repeating.

"Why on _earth_ would you do that!" She demanded. The student didn't have an answer.

"No explanation?" She asked angrily."Fine! Ms.Michalchuk has been serving after school and Saturday detentions for two weeks," She said gesturing to the door, where Paige had just appeared.

Ellie quickly spun around to see her love standing there, a hand on her perfect, curvy, hip. _She is so hot_, she thought to herself. Just then, Kwan starting talking, or rather screaming, again.

"You can join her tomorrow. Unfortunately, we don't offer detention on Sundays. Not to worry, though, you can keep her company all next week as well."

"Yes, Mrs.Kwan," Ellie murmured, trying to seem upset.

"Now, please, GO HOME!"

She turned around to walk out of the door, but instead ran straight into the blonde standing in front of it.

"Watch it!" Paige yelled, clearly annoyed.

"Sorry".

Ellie ran out of the school as fast as possible. Thank God it was Friday, she only had to wait a few hours before her detention. Six days. Mission beyond accomplished, she mentally patted herself on the back before stepping into her house. "Mom? Got detention tomorrow. Not to worry. I'll get there on my own, I'm going to take a nap." Ellie walked into her room and jumped on her bed, screaming into her pillow with excitement. She was sure that the next week would be amazing, even if they did have to scrape gum off the bottom of desks.

_**Reviews, please. This is my first slash fic. But im a huge reader. Hope you like it so far.**_


	2. Detention

**_here's chapter 2 of Say Anything. Again Femmeslash you know the drill. Dont read if it offends you. Thanks and enjoy._**

_**disclaimer - again. no ownership of degrassi here.**_

As Friday afternoon turned to Friday night, and Friday night turned to Saturday morning, Ellie's level of anxiousness towards the day ahead of her sky rocketed. She had gotten three hours of sleep, and 10 hours of thoughts, most of them admittedly negative. She couldn't begin to fathom why she was nervous. She had talked to Paige before, of course this was before she fell in love with her. She thought of the days of Hell Hath No Fury. Even when they were in a band together, she didn't converse with the girl that much. Paige mostly talked to Hazel and Ashley. Ellie with Ashley, which left them to be nothing more than aquaintances. When they lost the battle of the bands to Craig, the band decided to break up. Ellie often tried to pin point the exact moment Paige started to steal her affection. She honestly didn't know. She remembered watching Paige as she sauntered down the hallway with Hazel. Occasionally her gaze would fall lower than appropriate, and Ellie would shake it off, pretending it didn't happen. She remembered the day she admitted to herself that she was gay...

_When she joined Craig's band, she thought herself to have a crush on Craig, that is until the day Manny and herself had gotten into a very public arguement. When Manny was walking towards Craig,Marco,and Herself, her mouth dropped. Marco had thought it to be anger, because she liked Craig. In truth, however, she couldn't take her eyes off of the flirtatious brunette, simply because she was stunning. She snuck looks at Manny for the rest of the night, and when Craig had brought her onstage to dance with him, and she turned at just the right angle, blowing her skirt a little too high, she had smiled at the glorious view. That was when she realized she had a thing for girls. In her anger at admitting to herself that she thought Manny was cute, she threw a drumstick at the girl._

Again, it was thought to have been out of jealously.

She later realized that when she saw a good looking guy with a girlfriend, she was more interested in the female, and that she didn't like Manny, even if her good looks were obvious. Eventually her interest in guys sizzled out completely, and she was left with the obvious truth : That she, Ellie Nash, was a lesbian. She wasn't ashamed, but she wasn't ready to step out of the closet just yet, and that was where she still was now. Ellie's attraction to Paige had started with looks,but eventually grew into a love stronger than anything Ellie had ever witnessed, even when she was with Sean. The first rays of morning sunlight squeezed through the blinds, and Ellie dragged herself out from underneath her maroon bedsheets. She looked at her alarm clock and saw that it was only 6:15. She had an hour til detention started, and plenty of time to take a shower and get ready. _Hopefully i'll be able to get rid of these dark circles _,she thought as she rubbed her eyes. As she walked into her bathroom,and turned on the shower her thoughts strayed to the sassy blonde once more. She waited for the water to get hot enough before removing her pajamas and stepping into the steaming waterfall.

Paige Michalchuk looked at the beautiful, sleeping brunette beside her. She was gorgeous when she slept. Paige felt an arm wrap around her waist; Alex was now awake.

"You know, it's kinda weird when you stare at me while I sleep", Alex mumbled tiredly.

"Sorry,hon" Paige apologized, though she wasn't sorry at all.

Alex softly pressed her lips against Paige's.

"I forgive you", she said, pulling her girlfriend closer to herself.

Paige sighed contently as Alex left a trail of sweet kisses along her neck before capturing Paige's mouth with hers once more. Alex's tongue traced the other girl's lower lip, begging for access. Paige eagerly obliged. Their tongues tangled passionately until Alex finally pulled away with a satisfied smirk.

"As much as i hate to say it, babycakes, you're going to be late for detention if we don't put a stop to this now." She gave her girlfriend a quick peck on the theeck and hopped out of bed.

"Tease", Paige called playfully before getting up herself.

Alex was dressed in no time, her hair thrown up carelessly. Paige slipped into some hip hugging jeans and a plain white babydoll tee.

"I've gotta go, don't want mommy's boyfriend getting mad", Alex said sarcastically. Paige cringed.

"Don't talk like that!"

"Don't worry, I'm sorry, I'll be fine.", Alex consoled Paige, placing her hands slowly on the worried girl's hips, and softly kissing her forehead.

"Now, you really have to go. You don't want Mrs.H freaking out."

"Ugh, don't remind me", Paige exclaimed.

Alex smiled at Paige affectionately,then turned around to grab her things.

"Bye,hon. See you at work" Paige said.

"Bye,have fun!" Alex replied sarcastically.

Ellie briskly walked into her school where she was greeted by her principal.

"Well,well, Miss Nash. Welcome to detention."

"Yeah, thanks"

"Mrs.Michalchuk isn't here yet, but you two will be cleaning the cafeteria. So, can you get started here?"

"No one is staying to supervise?" Ellie asked, _Wow! No one but me and Paige!_ she thought hopefully.

"Ellie, you and Paige are seniors.You will be graduating this year. I think you can clean a lunchroom without a chaperone. Am i wrong?"

"No Ma'am."

"Great. So i'll come back to che-"

"Sorry I'm late" Paige interrupted, seemingly out of breathe.

"As i was saying, I'll be back in a few hours to see how it's coming along. And if you're done, to give you a new task" Mrs.Hatsalakos walked away, leaving the teens with 2 mops,a bucket of mucky water, and other assorted cleaning supplies.

"We better get to it", Paige sighed.

"What? Oh, um, yeah." Ellie stammered.

The girls each grabbed a mop and started to clean the floors. They each went to a different side of the room, and agree to meet in the middle. Paige was doing her side considerably faster, as Ellie found herself stopping to steal glances at the gorgeous girl standing only a few feet from her. _Why did she have to wear those tight jeans, now i'll never concentrate. No! Ellie, mop. You can't let her catch you drooling._ She scolded herself, subconsciously bringing her hand to her mouth to wipe away the non existant drool. She barely even noticed Paige stop moping.

"You're supposed to be mopping", Paige said impatiently.

"Sorry. I - uh - i got distracted."

"There's not a whole lot to distract you here,hon"

"Right. Well, i'll work faster."

Paige didn't reply. She was too busy being confused. This wasn't the same Ellie she was in a band with. This wasn't the same Ellie who used to snap back at her, nor was it the girl whom she forced to see the school psychologist when she found her cutting herself years back. Maybe she was just tired. It was early. Wait, Why should she care? She shook it off and continued to mop her side of the cafeteria. She looked over at her detention mate, and was surprised to find her looking at her as well.

_She's so weird_ ,Paige thought.

_She's so beautiful_, Ellie thought.

_**Well there's chapter two. Hope you enjoyed it. Review please, it helps and motivates me to write more chapters. x**_

_**p.s. I promise for some Pellie action soon. So stay tuned.**_


	3. Not your average detention

**I know. Two days without an update. But i hope this makes up for it.**

**Disclaimer - I only wish i owned Degrassi.**

About an hour after the girls got to work, the cafeteria was spotless. Paige took this opportunity to work on her homework. Ellie racked her mind for some sort of conversation starter, she needed an icebreaker. Paige beat her to the punch.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Mhm", Ellie consented,barely audible.

"That egg throwing incident, it was almost like you _wanted_ detention", Paige stated.

"That's not a question" Ellie replied.

_Woah_, Ellie thought impressed with herself, _where did _that_ come from? _Sure, it wasn't clever,nor romantic, or anything that could lead to Paige and Ellie strolling arm and arm. But it was more than a one syllable grunt, it was a start.

"Why'd you do it?" Paige suddenly asked sternly.

"Lets just say I had my reasons"

"Fine, whatever, don't tell me."

_Shit! Now I've gone and made her mad._

"Is this what detentions always like?" Ellie changed the subject.

"You've never had detention?"

"Once. But Raditch was still here, then", she explained.

"Oh, well I usually sit in an empty classroom and try to occupy myself. Usually homework, since I'm normally too busy working to do much of anything else", Paige said.

"Sounds like i have a lot to look forward to"

"I really have no idea what all this cleaning is about"

"Hopefully we don't have to do the basement next", Ellie said playfully.

"What a great idea, Miss Nash!" A voiced came from behind the girls.

Ellie turned around to see Mrs.H standing there with a grin. Paige groaned.

"You _must_ be joking! Did the janitor quit or something?" Paige snapped.

"Called in sick, actually."

"Great."

Mrs.Hatsalakos lead the girls to the basement. Paige gasped, horrifed at the sight in front of them. Cobwebs covered the several tables that occupied the room, most of then falling apart. The floor was coated in a thick layer of dust.

"Why do you need this dirt infested place clean? Isn't it just for storage?" Paige asked angrily.

"We've decided to use the basement for woodshop next year. Might as well get a foot up in cleaning, and I'd appreciate it if you'd watch your tone, Mrs.Michalchuk"

"Yes,Ma'am, but --"

"That's quite enough arguing", Mrs.H said impatiently, "I don't expect you to clean the room spotless, but please get rid of the dust and spiderwebs". Then she left, without waiting for an answer.

Paige crossed her arms in defiance, which Ellie found to be utterly adorable.

"There's a broom over there, on that wall, we can use that to knock the webs down." Ellie reasoned.

"Ugh. Fine. I'll do that. You can sweep up afterwards"

"Anything for you" Once the words left Ellie's mouth she mentally pummeled herself.

"You're looking at the queen of sarcasm. Don't challenge me." Paige retorted.

While Ellie watched Paige knock cobwebs to the floor, she couldn't help but worry that the next time she said something that sincere,she wouldn't be able to pull it off as sarcasm. She didn't know how she was going to survive the next week without spilling her guts to her love. Then,as if on cue, Paige walked up to her.

"Filthy spiderwebs eliminated" She said, holding out the broom by the handle.

Before Ellie could reply, a mouse scurried past them causing Paige to let out an earth shattering squeal, and grab Ellie into a bear hug, holding her close. Ellie grabbed her waist tightly in reaction. When the mouse was out of sight, Paige looked into the face of the girl she currently had her arms wrapped around. As aqua met Honey brown, and their eyes locked, both girls' cheeks were tinged fushia. Paige immediately attempted to back away, but found herself unable to move from the other girl's grasp.

"Um, hon, you can let go now"

Ellie prevented Paige from saying anything more by placing a finger to the floxen haired beauty's lips. She had no idea what had come over her. All her nervousness was gone. When the object of her affection had pulled her close, so close they were practically cheek to cheek, she was overcome with a feeling. A feeling as if she was on the top of the world, her rose colored hair whipping in the wind. She was practically floating. The extra heat radiating off of the body firmly pressed against her own caused mircro-sized beads of sweat to form on her forehead. Before she could come to her senses, the lovestruck teen lowered her finger. Paige opened her mouth to protest, but before she could make a sound her lips were pressed against the redhead's. Ellie allowed the kiss to linger a moment longer before pulling back and finally releasing Paige's waist. Paige took one huge step back, her face twisted into a shocked expression. Her eyebrows were raised nearly to her hairline.

"I'm sorry, Paige" Ellie gasped "I shouldn't have done that".

Paige continued to stare at her, speechless.

"I don't know what came ov--,I mean I got so caught up in the --, I'm just really sorry" Ellie stammered.

Nobody talked for what seemed like eternity, but was only a few short moments in reality. Those two minutes of silence, Ellie was sure, were the most uncomfortable minutes of her life. She lost all of her nerve, and her hands began to shake uncontrollably. She could feel her knees start to buckle. If someone didn't break the silence soon, she _was_ going to break.

"Say something" Ellie pleaded; no answer.

"Please Paige! she screamed "SAY _ANYTHING_!"

Mrs.Hatsalakos appeared in the doorway to announce that it was time for lunch. Paige pushed past Ellie and her principal, neither looking nor talking to either of them.

"Come on, Miss Nash."

As Ellie walked back to the cafeteria her legs felt like jell-o. Was Paige going to tell her friends she kissed her? She shivered at the thought. She wasn't planning on staying in the closet forever, but this was _not_ how she wanted to come out to the world, or atleast _her_ world. When lunch was over, the girls retreated back to the basement to finish cleaning. Ellie swept the floor as Paige sat in a corner, still silent. Not a single wordwas spoken until Mrs.H arrived back to tell them that their detention was over, and they were free to go. Once they got outside the school, Paige walked away as fast as possible. Ellie was determined to talk about what happened, but when she finally caught up with her she said the only words she could manage, "Please don't tell". Paige considered he request. She was sure if she _did_ tell Alex would have a fit. She didn't want that. She nodded her head in agreement, "Ok" she said meaningfully. Ellie stopped, allowing Paige to speed ahead. As she watched the young blonde disappear from view, she felt her heart give a great leap. It would probably, no definately, never happen again, but she had kissed Paige Michalchuk! Noone could take that from her. That moment would always belong to her.

**And there you have it, chapter three. Prepare for Paige's thoughts on the incident in the next chapter. And please, PLEASE review. x Much love as always.**


	4. Reactions

**and the story continues; chapter 4, for your reading pleasure.**

**disclaimer - i do not own degrassi, unfortunately.**

As Alex poured kernels into the popcorn machine, she had the strange feeling that someone was watching her. The movie theater where she worked was packed, so when her girlfriend spun her around by her shoulders and kissed her passionately,almost violently, she was surprised, to say the least. Paige wasn't a huge fan of public displays of affection. Well, atleast not _that_ sort of affection. She was always babbling about not wanting a "trashy reputation". Alex respected that,she never pushed her. The last thing she wanted was for Paige to feel uncomfortable.

"You _are_ aware that there are people around, right Paige?" she teased. Paige looked her in the eyes, deeply.

"I love you,Alex" she told her other half;both seriousness and determination in her declaration.

"I love you too--hey, are you okay?"

"Fine" Paige said quickly "Nothing's wrong,I'm fine. Look! Customers."

Paige stepped up to the counter, as Alex looked at her, amused. Something was bothering Paige; she could tell. Paige was too proud to ask for help, and too stubborn to accept it. Whatever it was, Alex would have to leave it be, and hope Paige coudl handle it on her own. She also knew that if it was too serious, Paige would come to her, atleast that's what she counted on. That night Paige was on her own. This gave her the unwanted opportunity to mull over her thoughts. She didn't_ want _to think about the kiss she shared with Ellie. The guilt currently residing in Paige was eating her up. Even though she didn't kiss Ellie back, she kept kicking herself for not stopping the incident. For not turning her head,or backing away, pushing Ellie off of her, anything to stop it from happening. But truth be told, Paige wasn't scared of the kiss itself, she was scared that she _liked_ it. What did that mean? Could it possibly mean she was attracted to Ellie? Were her feelings for Alex not as strong as she thought them to be? No. She automatically shook those thoughts off, she loved Alex. She had no doubt about that. _And when exactly did Ellie jump on the lesbian bandwagon anyway?_, she thought to herself. The voice inside her head was loud and insistant; shouting question after question at her. She clenched her eyes tightly, urging it to stop. Too many thoughts filled her brain. The blonde, on the verge of tears, threw her head back and screamed in frustration. She wanted to tell Alex what happened, to let her fix things. She yearned for Alex's arms to be wrapped around her shoulders, while she told her how it wasn't her fault, and she was forgiven. And then she pictured Ellie. She saw the scared look in her caramel colored eyes as she pleaded for forgiveness; and again when she begged her not to tell. Paige could see Ellie's loving expression she held her close, before touching her lips to Paige's. When it happened, it had surprised her. Afterwards, she was shocked by her sudden urge to run her hands through Ellie's gorgeous flame tinted locks; to trace her every curve. She couldn't speak, _what about alex?_ she inwardly screamed at herself. She briefly wondered if they could work out if she wasn't with Alex. "Oh God, I'm horrible," she groaned aloud, and tried to eliminate all thoughts of beautifully flawless (_SHUT UP PAIGE! YOU LOVE ALEX!)_ redheads

_**-- that same night --.**_

Ellie took a deep breathe as she looked into the eyes of her best friend. "Marco,I'm gay."

"What?" He asked, clearly caught off guard. "I mean, you're sure?"

"Definately."

"Well, i'm so glad you came to me. I'm proud of you, El," he said with a broad grin.

Ellie told Marco of her love for Paige, how she kissed her in the school's basement during detention,and about Paige's lack of words the rest of the day. When she was finished, Marco resembled a deer caught in headlights.

"Woah," he managed to say "she's with Alex."

"Thanks, I didn't know that." Ellie sneered.

"Sorry. It's just -did she kiss you back?"

Ellie thought about this. Did she? She looked down as a tear made its way down her cheek, sighing in depression and defeat.

"No," she said softly.

"Ellie, I know you - erm, love - Paige, but you can't expect her to be unfaithful. She know's what that feel's like, you know. Or have you forgotten the SpinnerManny fling?" Ellie nodded knowingly, eyes still on the floor. Marco contined. "Maybe if the timing was right, or if she wasn't with Alex. Please, don't chase after her. I've been in competition with Alex before, she's brutal, and she'll do anything to hold onto Paige. I think she's the best thing that's ever happened to her. I'd hate to see what would happen if Alex found out, I just don't want you to get hurt."

By now Ellie's tear ducts were kicking into overdrive. Her face glistening, she felt her throat tighten.

"Look at me Marco!", she snapped, "I'm already hurt," Marco pulled Ellie into a hug, letting her dry her eyes on his shoulder.

"I know, I know. I mean't physically, El."

The duo sat on Ellie's bed for what seemed like forever, Ellie crying endlessly into Marco's shoulder. Marco stroking her hair, in a soothing manner. Eventually the heartbroken girl ran out of tears, and was overcome with fatigue. As she yawned, Marco gently pushed her off of his shoulder.

"You need sleep, call me tomorrow," Marco whispered softly. This woke Ellie up.

"Wait!" she cried. "Can you stay with me? Atleast until I fall asleep?" seeing his hesitation she spoke up again. "Please, Marco. I don't want to be alone right now."

Without saying a word, Marco walked to the other side of her fairly small bedroom, and opened her closet door. He removed a blanket from the top shelf. Then, he walked back to where Ellie was sitting, looking hopeful. He flashed her a smile she knew all too well.

"Can i borrow a pillow?"

"What would i do without you?" Marco pulled Ellie onto her feet by her arms, and hugged her briefly.

"I have no idea," he teased.

The next morning, Marco opened his eyes groggily, to stale sunlight. He glanced up at Ellie from his place on the floor; she was already awake.

"Good morning," she tried her best to smile.

"Did you get any sleep at all?" Marco asked her.

"Some. Thanks for being here last night."

"You know I'm always here for you. I'm surprised your mom didn't freak that i stayed over," he laughed.

"Marco, she know's you're gay."

"Yeah, i know. But does she know that _you_ are?" he inquired, turning the conversation serious.

"You're the only one that knows"

"I know you're scared, but, when i came out to my mom, she took it better than i thought she would. She accept me, I'm sure yours will too," He said comfortingly.

"I'm afraid her reaction will be more along the lines of your father's," she said, averting eye contact."

Marco grimaced at the bad memory. He didn't want that for his friend; for anyone. He already had several friends, and a boyfriend, to support him once he came out to his mom. And while he and Dylan had broken up by the time he announced it to his dad, all of his friends had made it much easier for him. Ellie had told noone except him. She had no close friends to back her up, nor a significant other. On the plus side, Ellie's mom wasn't a "homophobe", she accepted him. So, maybe she could accept her daughter's homosexuality as well, when Ellie was ready to let her secret be known.

"Well, when you're ready to tell her, I'll be right there with you," he assured her.

"Thank you, Marco."

**Well, there it is folks. I hope this can hold you over until i get chapter 5 up. An extra long chapter is coming soon, and the real Pellie action will begin. Review, please. Critism is always welcome, as long as it's constructive.**


	5. The stars can tempt you

**Disclaimer : **I do not own anything that has to do with Degrassi, that honor is reserved to the writers and directors. I'm just having a little bit of fun with the characters; I promise to return them when I'm threw with smiling faces.

**Gahhwtf :**Eh. It's been forever, i'm fully aware, and completely sorry. Things have been hectic, not to mention I've been having technical difficulties. Enjoy and comment as always. Thanks to my loyal readers (and commentators).

**_thinking _"talking" **

"I have a meeting with Mrs.Hatsalakos, so i'm trusting you two to behave yourselves." Mrs.Kwan explained to Ellie and Paige, as they walked into detention Monday afternoon.

"Yes,ma'am," they replied in unison.

"Take your seats, no talking" she said casually before leaving them alone.

The awkwardness of their current situation was almost more than Ellie could take. She could feel the other girl's eyes boring into her back as she bent sideways to retrieve her reading assignment for english. She had no intentions of actually reading the novel, but she felt pathetic twirling her thumbs while trying desperately not to look at the blonde currently sitting two desks to her right.Staring at the meaningless words on the pages in front of her, her eyes started to ache, at the incessant force of keeping them in one place. Her head seemed to twitch, as if it was arguing with her brain; which was begging her not to give in to temptation and look her love's way. Finally, tired of mentally wrestling herself, and thinking it was quite stupid to care so much about looking at Paige, she slowly turned her head, her eyes instantly locking with fierce turquoise jewels. At the sight of Paige's intense gaze, Ellie turned a deep shade of pink,immediately returning her eye sight to the homework she wasn't doing. Paige barely held a snort of laughter at the sight of Ellie's embarassed face, which caused the ruby-haired girl's frown to deepen. Paige opened her mouth to apologize; she couldn't find the right words. Finally,she sighed and dropped her face to her hands.

"Msray," Paige muttered quickly into her palms.

"Huh?" The blonde lowered her hands, and looked back into the face of Ellie's.

"Im sorry" Paige repeated "I shouldn't have--"

Ellie never got to find out what Paige shouldn't have done, as her apology was cut short by Mrs.Kwan;releasing them from detention. Ellie quickly grabbed her stuff and left Paige sitting there, staring into space. _What just happened? Well thats that, i suppose._ She slowly picked her messenger bag off of the floor, and wandered out of Degrassi. This was precisely why she didn't make it a habit to apologize that often, it showed weakness, and while Paige _did_ have her weaknesses, she preferred not to show them. The only person she could apologize to, without feeling like a complete idiot, was Alex. She made her feel comfortable around her, so much so that she often felt uncomfortable just being away from her girlfriend. As she walked home, she found herself being grateful for not having to work tonight, and upset that Alex did. _More time to think;alone. Grrrrrrrreat. _ Five hours later Paige lies on the floor of her bedroom. The cold hardwood felt nice on her face _you'd think after four and a half hour I'd find more to think about than her_ she silently mused _I need to get out of this house_. As Paige walked out her front door she could feel the wind whipping across her face, and goosebumps forming on her neck and arms. Her face was so exposed to the chilling air that after a mere seconds she couldn't feel it anymore. Taking a deep breathe she walked into the darkness towards the woods where she often walked when she needed to escape. Nightfall made it difficult to see, and save for a streetlight outside of the wood entrance, Paige had nothing to guide her through the maze of trees. Often losing her balance on fallen branches, she scolded herself for not bringing a flashlight to luminate her path. Finally, she could make out the outline of a deformed tree. The trunk curved down, the head of leaves resting on the ground, forming a perfect arch. Paige was familiar with this arch, in fact, she could've claimed squatting rights. On many occasions, she had come to this very spot when she needed to sort out her thoughts. Very much like tonight. Paige swung one leg around the unusually large tree trunk so she was straddling it, and wrapped her legs around the tree for support. She looked up at the night sky, happy to see that despite the cold,windy weather it was clear. The full moon smiled down at her almost in a reassuring manner. The many stars sparkled in the moonlight, making the gorgeous scene above Paige seem like something out of a dream. The sound of a stick cracking snapped her out of her upward gaze.

"Who's there?"

She called into the forest. There was no answer, and Paige could see nobody. She assumed it was just her imagination, or maybe the wind, and ignored it. She started to think about Ellie once again, and how she kept wanting to see her. She had searched for her at school, for the cherry tint of her hair, she had not seen her until detention. Paige understood that Ellie was most likely avoiding her out of embarassment. The gnawing of her growing want for the girl's presense, and the stomach pain her intense guilt caused her, was too much. How could she be starting to feel affection towards another girl when she had the one she wanted? Alex was all she had ever wanted and more, and though she felt discriminated against those times when they were walking through the mall hand in hand, and bleach blonde skanks muttered things like "Lesbos" under their breath, she knew it was worth it. She knew that never again would she feel comfortable dating guys if she and Alex didn't end up together. She was a homosexual, and as tough as it was to accept it at first, she knew it was not to be questioned. She knew what she was, and was slowly beginning to be proud of it. Being with the beautiful, raven-haired rebel felt right to Paige; her new feelings for Ellie did not. She was once again shaken,this time by the sound of someone coughing.

"Hello?" This time a body formed by a tree near the one she was sitting on. She immediately recognized the intruder. She sighed out of relief. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I come here to think. You don't have a jacket, are you insane? Its freezing."

"I guess i left a little suddenly," Paige replied. Suddenly aware of how cold it was, her teeth started to chatter.

"I brought a blanket." Sure enough she saw a mysterious lump under the girl's arm. "I'm sorry for running out on you today. I didn't want to hear your apology, you didn't really have anything to be sorry for, you know."

"I just wanted to apologise for laughing for no reason, and for ignoring you."

"You don't owe me anything,Paige." Ellie walked towards her and sat next to her. Paige swung her leg back over the trunk, so she was sitting directly beside Ellie, and her legs were dangling next to the shivering redhead's.

"You know i can't see your face, but from that chattering noise, I'm sure it's purple." Before she could get embarassed she pressed the back of her hand against the blonde's cheek. "God,you're like ice!" She exclaimed as she unfolded the wool blanket,now in her lap. Ellie draped it across her and Paige's shoulders, causing them to scoot dangerously close to each other. This time when Ellie looked over at Paige, she could see her features. Her eyes had adjusted to the darkness. Paige grinned sheepishly, and realized when a smile tugged at the corners of Ellie's lips, that a thank you was unnecessary. They were okay now, and all the apologies each girl once urged to say were spoken silently. Paige's arm brushed against Ellie's,which sent a whole different kind of shiver through her. Ellie noticed and turned towards her.

"Are you still cold?" she asked.

"No. The blanket ... and body heat.. is helping,thanks." Ellie broke into a toothy grin in response.

Not knowing was had come over her, Paige wrapped her arms around the girl. Ellie looked at her questioningly, but the warm look in Paige's eyes settled her, and she eventually leaned into her embrace. They both looked up at the glittery night sky, until both their gazes settled down onto each other, instead. Ellie thought the view in front of her was just as beautiful. Paige leaned forward and placed a gentle peck on Ellie's lips, who gasped with surprise. She cursed herself afterwards, as Paige pulled away quickly.

"I'm so sorry" Paige said. Ellie looked at her before answering, feeling the love she had for Paige swell. She hadn't thought it possible for her to feel anymore towards the girl until now. Her heart fell as if it might explode from all the emotion.

"Don't be."

Ellie took it upon herself to capture Paige in another liplock. The kiss was soft and sweet, oozing with care. Paige deepened the kiss, pressing her tongue against the other girl's lips until Ellie's mouth let her enter. Soft and sweet soon turned into passionate and demanding. Their hands explored one another as Paige leaned onto Ellie, pushing her down until she was laying flat against the tree trunk, and Paige was lying on top of her. The arch was incredibly uncomfortable, and the blanket had fallen to the ground. The girls slowly moved off of the tree and onto the blanket. Paige removed Ellie's coat, and left a trail of kisses along neck. When she got to the sensitive spot above the shoulder blade, she sunk her teeth into the skin; marking her territory. Ellie gasped in both pain and pleasure, and Paige licked the newly punctured skin to soothe it. Ellie pulled at the edge of Paige's shirt, and Paige ripped it off, making sure not to throw it too far as she wouldn't be able to find it. Ellie leaned forward and pecked against Paige's chest, where her silver necklace was dangling. Paige suddenly pulled away, her hungry eyes boring into Ellie's honey brown iris'.

"I can't do this," she said, reluctantly, "I can't betray Alex like this, it's not fair to her."

"I understand."

"But I want you, Ellie. I can't seem to stop thinking about you, everytime i close my eyes, I see you." Paige realized she was spilling her feelings, and it made her nervous. Ellie opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off. "I'm sorry. I have to go." She grabbed her top and pulled it on, looking back at Ellie only once as she ran away.

"Wait!" Ellie called softly, but Paige was already gone.

She was even colder now that Paige's body heat had left her. She put her jacket back on, and wrapped the wool blanket around her shoulders. As she walked home, she felt her cheeks become wet with tears. The icy wind made her face numb, especially where they were wet. She picked up the pace and went straight to her room once she reached her house. Ellie curled into a ball on her bed, and cried herself to sleep. She was quickly brought into a dream of the nights previous events, except in her dream, Paige stayed.


End file.
